These past two years have been very rough for my family. Personally, I experienced a lot of things that were traumatic for me, yet I’m sure to someone else, it could be seen as child’s play.
But for me, it was hard, it hurt, and it took many prayers, soul-searches, and friends to heal from it.
And time. Lots of time.
But there were also roadblocks to my healing.
I could feel Satan’s demonic forces trying to oppress me and keep me from healing and strengthening my spirit through God. If you’ve experienced it, you understand; if you haven’t, I am thankful God has spared you, but understand it is real. Satan hates us. He knows the right time to strike and how to get you to crumble.
He has been there since the beginning and understands our human nature more than anyone can.
And every time I took one step forward, it felt like something would bring me three steps back.
But God would keep bringing my steps forward, little by little.
While I was healing, God was guiding me to who I needed to meet, forcing me to slow down and have time to ponder and remember the simple truths of Scripture. He was showing me the places I had unknowingly strayed and the places that needed to heal from wrong teachings or previous hurts.
As I looked to others for help, I joined a grief class at a church. We began talking about Joseph. And like many listenings of Joseph’s life that I’ve heard, we read the story, applied the principles to our lives, and moved on. But part of the story stood out to me that hadn’t before.
Joseph endured many hardships throughout his life. He experienced deep betrayal and was at a very low point in life, through no fault of his own. He was in jail for a crime he didn’t commit, in a land that was not his own, after being sold into slavery by his brothers.
And I wanted to know what did Joseph do in that time?
I knew how he got there, and I knew where God would lead him in the end.
But what did he do in the quietness of life going by? After the trauma was committed, friendships were nonexistent, and his life seemed lost and trivial. He was stuck doing what someone else told him to do with no hope of change or release.
What did he think?
How did he think?
How could he heal from his hurt when he could do nothing but feel how it had affected his life and soul?
What did he learn in that moment?
I was in that moment of silence. And I was lost on what to do and what to think.
Let us look at Joseph’s story and learn how God healed him during his moment of silence.
Joseph’s Family Life
(Genesis 33-35)
To many people, Joseph might seem like he had a privileged life.
- His father adored him and had lots of quality time with him.
- His mother was his father’s greatest love.
- His family was not poor and had been blessed greatly by God.
- He was protected, loved, and comfortable.
So what could he possibly have to complain about? How could that possibly be traumatic?
To truly understand a person we must see their whole being. Just as God see’s our past, we must understand it too, or we will not recognize the present and know how to proceed into the future.
Do you believe all rich kids have perfect lives? Is money all that we need to be comfortable, safe, and loved? Now, of course, that makes a huge difference. But that was where Joseph’s life was perfect. What about the rest?
- They were a nomadic family. They had no other family around, nor people who believed in the same God as they did. They were alone and strangers, isolated to a point.
- His father had 3 other wives besides Joseph’s mother. It was not a secret that he did not love nor intimacy with the other wives, and to an extent, their children. As far as we know, the only time they had intimacy with them was at the request of his favorite wife for selfish reasons.
- Polygamy causes women and children to have lots of hurtful situations, catfights, ungodly hierarchy, and secret feelings that weren’t spoken but felt by all. It was a house of constant friction.
- The other 11 older siblings that Joseph had were not loved, trained, or invested in like Joseph was. They were mostly chastised.
- Favoritism spread bad emotions like poison to the family: jealousy, hatred, feelings of inadequacy and unwantedness, disrespect, bitterness, loneliness, frustration, sadness, disappointment, unhappiness, and grief.
- Example of favoritism: When Jacob met his brother Esau after many years, he placed the two handmaid wives first, then Leah and her kids second, and lastly Joseph and his mother Rachel. The last people were always seen as the most important people in a family. Not to mention, as Jacob and Esau were not quite on friendly terms yet, it gave them more time to escape if it got dangerous.
- Example of favoritism: Dinah, Jacob’s only daughter, was raped but loved by a high-ranking man in a city they were visiting. The man and his father ask Jacob for her so he might marry, and they would give their daughters to marry his sons. As far as we know, Jacob makes no decisions, and his daughter is still in the city at that man’s house. Her brothers do ungodly things to rescue her and bring her home. But they do it out of love for her. The only thing Jacob does is chastise them for making him troubled and be seen as a stink amongst the people of the land. Nowhere does it say he comforted his daughter, nor was he seeking the Lord in what to do. Godly leadership was vacant in the home, for them at least.
- Example of favoritism: His father made Joseph a coat of many colors, one of esteem and honor amongst and above those around him. We never hear of the other siblings receiving anything from him, and Jacob is, without words, placing Joseph above his siblings in not only love, but also rank.
- That favoritism made Joseph not have a good relationship with any of his other siblings, or the other adults.
- His mother died giving birth to his brother. His father and baby brother were the only sources of love left in a sea of hatred.
And that was only the drama during Joseph’s existence. There was so much more before this that fed into all of the relationships and home environment before he was born.
But you can see how all this would lead Joseph to experiencing trauma, trauma caused by His brothers.
The Unexpected Trauma
(Genesis 37:12-36)
Joseph’s brothers were shepherds. They were to take care of their father’s flocks.
In times past, if Joseph was with them and they did bad things, he would tell his father about it once he returned home.
It kind of seems like he was just a snotty tattle-tale, right? But remember, his father ranked him higher than his brothers. He was considered their superior, possibly even their supervisor. It was the job his father gave him to give him a report.
But it caused an even deeper hatred in them, so deep that one might start to act on their thoughts. Thoughts that were not kind and, definitely, were not from God.
One time, while his brothers were away in Shechem tending the flocks, his father asked Joseph to go and check on them. To make sure the flocks and his brothers were ok.
But when Joseph arrived in Shechem, they were not there. He was wandering around in a field, a field they were supposed to be in, when a man asked him what he was doing and then answered him that his brothers had gone to Dothan.
And when they saw him afar off, even before he came near unto them, they conspired against him to slay him. And they said one to another, Behold, this dreamer cometh. Come now therefore, and let us slay him, and cast him into some pit, and we will say, Some evil beast hath devoured him: and we shall see what will become of his dreams.
Genesis 37:18-20
These verses are just dripping with disdain and malice.
They are so open with their desires to kill him, it makes you wonder, have they joked about it before? Did it start as a thought and grow into a desire?
Because they fed this thought, they now have the confidence and courage to see it through. They have less of God’s spirit in them and more of their human emotional fragility, which is leading them.
Thankfully, Joseph’s oldest brother, Reuben, told them not to kill Joseph. And thankfully, they respected Reuben enough to listen to him.
But the evil and hatred were still in their hearts. When Reuben was gone, they saw a band of Ishmaelite merchants heading to Egypt. They pulled him out of the pit, mostly naked as they had already removed his coat of many colors, and sold him for twenty pieces of silver.
They did not care what happened to him.
- What type of master would he have?
- Which country would he travel to?
- Would he be safe or physically harmed?
All they cared about was removing him from their lives. I don’t think this is something Joseph ever thought would happen. I don’t believe he had a thought, “My brothers will kill me someday, or sell me as a slave.”
He did not know that was how his day would end.
We never know what our future holds and…
Trauma loves surprises.
The Isolation
Joseph had a long journey to his new home to think and adjust to his new life. He had time to grasp his situation. The ancestors of every race and every era are not well-known for being kind to slaves. As he spoke to and watched those around him, I’m sure it was an awakening of what his life would be like once in Egypt.
Honestly, I believe that on this trip, Joseph was simply focusing on surviving. There was nothing he could say to convince his new masters to let him go. There was no freedom to be had if he worked hard and obeyed. He was no longer Joseph, the favored and superior. He was now that Israelite slave. His new life would have a different backstory.
Joseph would have to come to terms with this new identity.
He must mentally adjust to no longer being in a high position of authority, but now being the lowest. He must embrace this new place God allowed him to be so that it doesn’t cause him to drown in sorrow and depression.
He must learn to be a slave, and the best slave there ever was.
Not because he is afraid or trying to brown nose his way to the top again for a better life.
But because that is all God required of him.
Do what is right.
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.
Colossians 3:23-25
When we are stuck and trapped, God doesn’t need us to become who we were, to have a massive ministry, a prominent place in the church, or a life of wealth and esteem among men.
The only thing we have to do is the next right thing.
And that is what Joseph did.
He kept his integrity and good nature. He worked hard, no matter the task, and treated everyone he met with respect and care.
He did not gossip, curse God, or his family. He understood what had happened to him. He realized the injustice and pain it had caused him. But he looked to God.
From human terms, he was alone. He had no one to encourage him, lift him up from the depths of sorrow, and be the rock to stand on. There was no one there to fight for him. No one cared about him.
But God was always there.
Alone, except for his faith in God, which didn’t make everything better, but gave him what he needed in that moment. God was his companion whom he could talk to. Joseph knew God was real and that He saw where he was and what was happening to him. In this moment, the only thing he could do was wait and trust in God.
Not fight his circumstance, but instead embrace it.
Joseph needed this time to sift through his thoughts. He needed this time of isolation to become the person God wanted him to be. Not the person his father trained him to be, or the belief that he was who his brothers thought him to be.
To figure out who he was by himself, without his family and background.
Just to be Joseph.
And where was God going to lead him? And what would be the purpose of this quest? That takes time to find out. Joseph had to trust in the uncertainty that there was a point to this suffering and turn of events.
So, where was the hope that things would get better?
The Hope
(Genesis 39:1-6)
Joseph ended up being bought from an Egyptian man named Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, to be exact.
We don’t know what position he originally bought Joseph for. But we see that the LORD was with Joseph and he prospered in everything he did.
His Egyptian master took notice of this. He saw how extraordinary Joseph was and the incredible blessings that flowed through his work. He gave him a variety of different positions and watched as they all turned to gold. Until one day, he made Joseph overseer over his entire estate. Potiphar left EVERYTHING he had and owned in Joseph’s hands.
Joseph rose to the highest rank a slave could have in a home with the greatest respect from a master that he could achieve.
How amazing that must have felt! Joseph could see God’s blessings just as much as Potiphar. His trust was being rewarded!
He was once again in a leadership position. The dreams he had with his family before seemed almost plausible now. His life was turning up. And nothing seemed capable of going wrong.
I’m sure he began to feel healing happening now. His mood was probably improving naturally and not forced. He was more at ease and more hopeful and ready for whatever might come. He felt as if he was taking steps forward and progressing in the right direction for his future.
…But Satan does not want Joseph to heal. He does not want him to succeed. He hates those that God loves. He is known as a roaring lion, walking about the earth, looking for whom he might destroy.
Just because we don’t see him doesn’t mean he or one of his demons is not there.
And if it’s not Satan behind it, it is mankind’s own knowledge of evil that prevents good from happening.
Either way, Joseph is about to take a step backward in his walk of faith.
The Large Step Backwards
(Genesis 39:7-20)
Everyone who lived and worked at Potiphar’s home knew of Joseph and interacted with him. And good people would feel happy for him and enjoy having a good leader. But others who did not care about good things would see his blessings in a different light.
What an interesting slave, I will have to keep tabs on him. Look how hard working and attractive he is, he must be special. Wow, he is greatly blessed by heaven, I want that blessing on me. He has become a adesirable man. He is the man that I want. He is the man I must have. He is the man I will get.
We do not have these words in the Bible, but I could easily see this being the progression of thoughts and feelings of Potiphar’s wife. She had great authority and power over the slaves as well. How could they refuse her? If she gave an order, it was up to them to obey, no matter what.
She asked Joseph to be as physically intimate with a person as one can be. To take the place of her husband and enjoy being lovers in secret.
And Joseph could have pulled it off if he wanted to. He knew where to do it in secret, how to keep it a secret, and enjoy this invitation.
But Joseph was not that type of man.
He knew God would be against it. He knew it was a sin to do this act, and against someone he was thankful for and respected as his master? He could never!
I’m sure she was surprised at the refusal, but she also couldn’t force a delicate matter like this with her husband’s force or help from other servants. But she was relentless. Day after day, she said the same thing.
Lie with me!
And with time, she became annoyed. How dare a mere slave be so insolent and refuse her! He had no right not to do what his masters desired! If he would forever refuse, she would have to take it a step further and be more aggressive.
When Joseph came home one night, he was surprised to see that none of the men servants were in the house. He was alone with Potiphar’s wife. She had the ability to make that happen. And she wouldn’t just ask this time, she was desperate now. She grabbed his clothes, saying once again, “Lie with me.” But with eyes that said you WILL do it.
It makes me wonder, if Joseph was not a full-grown man that had more muscle and agility, would she have raped him? Was she that desperate to have her own needs and desires met that she did not care for him at all?
The fact that she was able to take off the entirety of his clothes and they were left in her hands as he fled out of the house makes me believe that she was at least very capable of doing that.
And as she is left there, once again rejected, and as adamantly refused as one can be, she is filled with emotions. She is embarrassed and annoyed. She is in disbelief and full of spite. Her malignancy knows no bounds! She hates Joseph now. No longer does she desire to have him in bed. Now she wants to destroy him. If he won’t have her, he doesn’t deserve the life he has. He deserves punishment, and she will use what she has to make that happen.
And she did. She accused Joseph of trying to lie with her. She told everyone in the house only minutes after she was refused. She used his clothes as evidence to show his supposedly shameful behavior. She put on a display until her husband came home, and she was able to share the story with him.
Of course, Potiphar only knows what he is told. We don’t know if he believes her or if he already knows she’s that type of person. All it says is that he is filled with wrath. But wrath towards whom?
Either way, this is a very serious accusation. And it would be amiss for Potiphar to suggest his wife is lying. So he must take action, an action suitable for the accusation. He has no choice but to throw Joseph in prison.
An interesting blog post I have read tells the next events like a story. If you want to read it, you can find it here.
Surprisingly, Joseph is not thrown into a commoner prison, nor is he executed as most slaves would have been. He is put into the prison of the king’s prisoners.
Prisoners, Pharaoh himself knew and had anger towards.
A place where people who personally upset the king were kept. Not exactly a place that was meant for people like Joseph, but that is where he found himself.
The Silence of One Forgotten
Genesis 39:21-23; 40)
I can’t imagine how low and depressed Joseph must have felt at this point. Just when everything was turning up, it all went downhill. How was doing the right thing causing him so much stress and anxiety? How could God let him be punished when all He did was what God would have wanted?
Now he had even more thoughts to sift through.
But God never left him. God was allowing Joseph to be strengthened through adversity. God was putting Joseph where he needed to be to bring him to where God wanted him to go.
Many times, we will never understand or get an answer to our question, Why?
We cannot always fathom what God is doing now and what he has in store for us later. He just asks us to stay with him. Trust him. Know that whatever you suffer, it is for His name, His honor, and His glory.
It is for the good of the world and good for your soul.
I really struggled in my time of silence. As I said before, Satan was throwing lies and doubts at me in every direction. I had wondered if I was outside of God’s will. If I were, in fact, being punished by God for some sin I had committed.
And although there are times that God does that, every bad thing that happens to us is not his punishment.
But I was also upset because God was not protecting me as much as I thought He should.
We were struggling greatly with money, and my God, that has a cattle on a thousand hills was not sharing with me.
He says in the Bible that if I ask, seek, and knock, He would answer. But he was being so quiet. And unusually quiet at that.
He promised joy when I am in His will, so why was I full of sorrow and stress?
It might sound silly, but I truly felt like I was receiving the arrows of Satan, but that is because my armor was not fully on.
Satan knew where my cracks in the armor were, and he knew how to exploit them and cause severe damage.
It honestly made me respect and fear Satan more. Not because he had control over me or was stronger than God. But because I realized how much he really did hate me, and he would love nothing more than to destroy me.
It also showed me that even the greatest of Christians don’t always know what to say or do. Not every Christian I met helped me sift my thoughts. Some caused me to take steps backward, but many helped me take steps forward.
But the greatest thing that got me through was continuously looking to God. Knowing the promises that He tells me in the Bible and holding them close to my heart, even if it’s hard to believe them at times. Believing that they were true and would come to pass was enough.
I don’t know if Joseph knew how much of a force Satan was in his life. But I truly believe it wasn’t just God strengthening Joseph and teaching Him wisdom that caused the adversity; it was also his faith being attacked.
Silence is necessary at times. It is the quiet moments in life that cause us to grow as people. To help us learn who we are and what we want and need. It shows us what we value and take the time to invest in. It’s extra time to increase our faith.
And we are never alone at this time. God is always there in the silence. And we know this because He was still with Joseph.
But the LORD was with Joseph, and showed him mercy, and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison.
Genesis 39:21-23
And the keeper of the prison committed to Joseph’s hand all the prisoners that were in the prison; and whatsoever they did there, he was the doer of it.
The keeper of the prison looked not to anything that was under his hand; because the LORD was with him, and that which he did, the LORD made it to prosper.
Even in prison, God did not forsake him. The one in charge of the prison did the same thing Potiphar did. He put Joseph in charge of every single prisoner in the prison and over all of their activities. He was placed in leadership again. And he had the complete trust of the Egyptian prison leader that he was under, and God caused him to flourish.
It has been believed by some Christians that Potiphar might have been the keeper of the guard, or he was a good friend or college to Potiphar. He was, as you remember, captain of the guard to Pharaoh.
Either way, I believe it was someone who already knew Joseph before he came to the prison. God put Joseph under someone who already favored and knew of his good character.
God was working in the background while Joseph was sifting his thoughts and healing from his trauma.
Conclusion
It might seem as if Joseph’s life was just awful, but honestly, that is just life.
It is an illusion that we have control over our lives. It is a lie that good things happen to good people. It is a fantasy that hard workers progress and achieve great things.
There will always be unexpected surprises that negatively affect our lives. Many good people will have bad things happen to them. And I know a lot of hard workers who are still poor and low in status.
We have one choice to make that makes all the difference in these situations. Are we going to do them alone or with God?
Are we going to obsess over the why and the anxiety of not being ok, or are we going to hear our thoughts and say, “It’s ok. I’m ok. God is taking care of me. I don’t know how. I don’t know why it’s hard. But I know He is there and will work it out for good.”
But also don’t push it to the side. God understands and sees the hardship you are going through. He knows he is asking a great thing of you.
But He is asking you to follow his plan, not your own. He wants to use you in ways you never could have dreamed. Not even Joseph, who was God’s dreamer of dreams.
God did not forget you. He is right next to you, especially in your moments of vulnerability. He is letting you slow down. He is physically and emotionally preparing you for the next amazing things he desires for your future.
Will you grow stronger in your faith or decide to allow Satan to tear it apart?
