Tragedy hits everyone someday. Even rich people get hurt. Even strong people become weak. Even fairy tales turn into nightmares.
No one is safe from suffering.
But how and with whom you face this suffering helps determine your future. In a sense, it guides your footsteps.
When faced with difficulties:
- Many turn to alcohol or drugs to overcome their pain.
- Many dedicate their life to work and continuous projects to not think about the hardships.
- Many stay distracted through music, games, or movies and forget everything else in their simulated fantasies.
- Many look to porn, paid escorts, or online chat rooms to give them artificial intimacy.
- Many shut down, remove everyone from their life, and fall prey to depression.
- Many decide that suicide is the only answer to escape what they can’t face alone.
These outcomes happen when people don’t know where to turn to.
They are grasping at whatever looks promising, promising a better life than what they have. They look at other people and try to follow their examples, to gain the same happiness they display. They listen to anybody or anything that promises to help them, even if they do nothing but cause addictions.
Sometimes people go on autopilot and allow anything that grabs hold of them to lead their lives.
They are desperate, scared, and easily swayed by illusions. They are drawn to the misleading image of peace, joy, and happiness, but in reality, it is pain, misery, and loneliness.
And the sad truth is, they are being lied to.
None of those things will help them. It will not help them forget what happened to them. It will not help them get through the emotions and hurt and become whole again. It will not help them rebuild their life when it has been shattered.
They are there to numb. They are there to take advantage of your weak estate and better their life, not yours. They are there to let you live in a lie, a lie that promises to make you happy.
But only the truth will set you free.
The truth of life, which is Jesus.
At the end of the day, once you put down the bottle and turn off the TV, you are left there the same as when you started. Even if it has been 30 years. You are still you. And you are still hurt and broken.
Your life hasn’t changed for the better.
When you don’t deal with the issues and pains of yesterday you are choosing to stay in those problems forever. You are not facing your fears. You are not looking for change. You are just pushing it out of your mind and keeping on keeping on.
And God doesn’t want that for you.
He wants you to be well. He wants you to be loved. He wants you to feel, to learn from life, and to become a better version of yourself from before the troubles.
But…
- You can’t face this alone or you will remain lost and confused.
- You can’t try to fix what is broken if it is refusing to be fixed.
- You cannot take control of your life if you are afraid or in physical danger.
You need someone who can give direction, change hearts, and have dominance over what is dominating you and keeping you in bondage.
But, who can we turn to? Who will help us? Who can we trust with our life and soul? Who knows the truth and can help us see?
God. It can only be God.
Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
Psalm 143:8
Who Can We Turn To?
Maybe you don’t believe me. That I am mistaken in believing we should turn to God.
Maybe you don’t believe in God or you don’t have that kind of relationship with Him or you just don’t understand what I mean.
Let me say this…Whether you are a Christian or not, the answer is God.
If you have hit rock bottom, you have probably done some awful things, whether intentionally or not. Or you have continuously made wrong decisions out of fear or believing the lie.
Would your family and friends still care as deeply about you as God would?
Would total strangers, such as pastors or psychologists, understand you and what you’ve gone through as well as God does?
Would they be able to cancel out the lies that Satan whispers in your ear daily with unshakeable truth that cannot be refuted? (John 8:44)
We need the strongest, the wisest, and the best to get through the pit of despair. And that is God.
And although these people could help you, they are not all you need. Because they are not perfect. They can still give bad advice, have bad reactions to your story, or sever your relationship with them because of what you said or did.
But nothing you say can scare God away. Nothing you do will make God stop caring for you. There is only one sin that can cause God to separate from you forever. But that is for a different blog post.
In these moments, wouldn’t it be amazing to have someone who can hear us when we can only silently whisper for help? Or to understand the thoughts going through our head and desires of our heart without even saying a word? Or who can see us even if we are hidden from the rest of the world?
Someone available every second of every day. (Isaiah 41:10)
Someone who truly cares about us because they are good. (Psalm 107:1)
Someone who hates seeing us in such hardship and wishes for something better for our lives. (Matthew 7:11)
Someone who is reaching out and saying, “Come to me and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
Someone who can guarantee you a heart of peace, love, and joy. (Galatians 5:22-23, John 16:33)
Someone who can show you the exact choices and decisions you must make. (Proverbs 16:9)
Someone who will always be with you during those tough decisions that are not always easy. (Romans 8:35-39)
Thankfully, God can do all those things. There is none other as perfect in help and counsel as He.
He is the only one worthy of our trust. The only one we don’t have to be afraid of following their lead. The only one that will love you so unconditionally.
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:11
Turn to God. No matter if you are a Christian or not. He wants to hear from everyone. He wants to heal our souls.
He wants you to recognize that He is what you need. And His everlasting life, through Jesus Christ His son, is what you crave.
It doesn’t matter your age, gender, status level, or worthiness of help, God is pursuing all people.
God wants to give you counsel.
God wants to guide and help you.
God is just waiting for you to look to Him.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good. The Lord looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, and seek God.
Psalm 14:1-2
He Hears Our Heartache
This heartache is a time of weakness for us.
An important time of weakness that should be embraced. God has allowed it to happen to bring us back to Him. Or to show and teach us something. It might even be to reveal God’s will to you in a major life change.
When people are weak they are more willing to listen and change because they are less stubborn and prideful. To help get the most out of this time, read my blog post entitled, “Embrace Your Time of Weakness.”
Most people who have had something bad happen in their life want to talk to someone about it.
Sometimes it’s just to complain, or get friends on their side. These types of people are not looking for advice or help. They know what they want, and the current conversations have fulfilled their desires.
Other times it is people needing someone to see their grief, to notice the hurt, and to give comfort. To help them not go through the pain alone and to give counsel and direction when they are lost.
These are the type of people that God is listening to. These are the people that He will counsel.
And although sometimes God will begin the conversation with us first, He desires that we take the first step.
He wants us to go to Him. He wants us to talk to Him, to pray to Him. That’s all prayer is; it’s just talking to whom you can’t see but having the faith to know that He is there, He hears and He will take action.
It is bearing your heart and soul to God.
And we must be honest with Him. Tell Him everything that we are experiencing and thinking. Tell Him your emotions, good or bad. If you are angry, frustrated, afraid, or crushed. If you are crying the whole time He still understands.
God is not afraid of our emotions. He is not offended by our words. We are but a speck to Him, no threat at all. And if it comes from a searching heart He will see through the emotions to what is really going on in the heart.
However, If you are blaming, mocking, or cursing God, then you should be afraid for your life. God will not be mocked. (Galatians 6:7-8) In the Old Testament, if anyone was found cursing God the Israelites were required to stone them to death. God does not take this type of sin lightly.
“Be angry and sin not.” That is found in Ephesians 4:26. God does not say, don’t be angry. He says it’s ok to have that emotion, but don’t sin from it. Bring that emotion into subjection.
It was God, after all, that gave us our emotions. They are signals to us that something is going on and we need to be alert to God’s leading.
But sometimes our emotions and feelings are lying to us too. They are clouded by past experiences or fears. At times, they also cannot be trusted.
The Bible says that the heart is deceitfully wicked. So we must also ask God to reveal the truth to us. To help us see the reality of what is going on.
The heart is deceitful above all things,
Jeremiah 17:9-10
And desperately wicked;
Who can know it?
I, the Lord, search the heart,
I test the mind,
Even to give every man according to his ways,
According to the fruit of his doings.
He knows what is going on with you. He knows what emotion you are truly having, even if you are portraying another in its place. For example, anger instead of fear and hatred instead of sorrow.
And since He not only knows what happened to you and why you reacted the way you did, He also knows every aspect of the other side.
He knows the whole truth.
He Recognizes The Truth
God will help you balance yourself again. See where you were wrong and where you were right. Where you need to change and where you need to let go.
He will tell you the truth about your situation. Not your assumptions. Not your victimhood. The truth that is hiding between the lines of your words. The truth that only He can see clearly.
And He speaks through His Spirit and His Word, the Holy Bible.
If you are not a Christian, then you do not have His Spirit living within you. God may bring things or people in your path to help prompt you to come to His Word, but He will not talk directly to you. Not in words at least. You have to have Him indwell you with His Spirit before He will speak to you in any way but the Bible. Why?
Because you are not part of His family. And the sin in your heart is hindering your relationship.
You must first recognize your fallen state of being, and know that it is only through God’s appointed Savior, Jesus Christ, and the blood he shed for you, that you can wash your sins away. Once you accept Jesus’ sacrifice, then, and only then, will you become part of God’s children and He will bestow His Spirit upon you to guide you and communicate with Him.
If you desire to be a Christian, read how to here.
But as a Christian, I have heard the Spirit speak. It is really hard to explain what that means unless you have gone through it.
For me, it is like my brain goes “PING” and I unintentionally focus on the words that are being said and I simply know it is God speaking to me. Sounds ridiculous, right? But the Spirit talks to you in a whisper that only your heart can hear. And He only speaks to you that way when you are in communion with Him, searching for His guidance.
But God doesn’t always talk directly to us. Most of the time He will use His Word to speak.
There have been so many times in my life that I have prayed about something and left it in God’s hands, only to later read in my devotions, that day, the answer to my prayer. Oddly enough, I have even heard God speaking to me through a kid’s song. But remember to always test the spirits! Satan loves to pretend being God.
God doesn’t ignore us, He doesn’t always answer right away, but you can have faith that He will give you the truth even if it hurts.
But how does He know the truth?
Because He knows both sides. He knows every circumstance that happened and why they happened that way. He knows the people that hurt you and why you hurt other people. He knows every intimate detail that we are not privy to ourselves.
You see everyone has free will.
If they are choosing to be led by God in that moment, then they will react correctly and do what’s right.
But that is not usually the case. Most people will do whatever they want, without thinking about what they should do. They react in the moment without putting their mind, body, and heart into subjection to God.
And that is when hardship enters the picture.
They not only hurt you and others around you, but also themselves.
But the same is to be said for us. If we aren’t led by God, then we also hurt others and ourselves.
So when two people come together and deal with a problem in whatever way their sinful flesh feels like, of course, there will be pain as the outcome.
But there are times when we are being led by God and we are doing what is right and there is still a painful end for us.
It makes it confusing for us to know what happened. But don’t worry. God is not confused.
He knows exactly who was doing His will, watching their tongue and body and doing what is right. Just as He knows who is doing whatever they feel is right and not listening to Him.
And He might not tell us exactly what was behind everything, but He will tell us what we NEED to know. Enough information and knowledge to help us become whole again and move on from the situation.
the Great, the Mighty God, the Lord of hosts, is his name,
Great in counsel, and mighty in work: for thine eyes are open upon all the ways of the sons of men: to give every one according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings:
Jeremiah 32:18b-19
He knows. He knows both sides and although He allows it, that does not mean it will go unpunished or we will not be helped through it.
Just as He is dealing with us, He is also dealing with them.
But how does He deal with problems like this?
He Comforts And Rebukes
While we are talking and praying to God, completely lost in our emotions and actions, He responds to us in two ways.
He will comfort us in the pain and heartbreak, and rebuke us in the pain we caused another or the sin we didn’t realize we were committing.
He is the King of Justice just as He is the Healer of His children.
He will comfort our pain. (Psalm 147:3)
Sin hurts people because it is selfish. Selfishness brings itself up by putting down another. And the one put down will feel it deeply.
At times, we are the one that has been put down.
God sees us in our brokenness. He sees how we have been brought low and all the negative emotions, such as anxiety and depression, came with it. He saw the wounds inflicted upon us and the words hurled our way.
And He understands how we feel. His son, Jesus, experienced so many hardships and mistreatment from others. He suffered way worse than anyone could imagine.
He was a child that everyone believed to be a bastard. He was hated because he was perfect and never sinned. He was mocked because of his message. He was doubted. He was scorned. He was physically beaten until he was almost unrecognizable.
He felt deep sorrow. He felt alone and rejected. He experienced deep hunger and thirst. He felt tired and soul-wrenching pain.
And yet, he was thinking of us. How he could save us from the sin of this world and the pain it brings, giving a way to find comfort in the chaos.
And through it all, he did not sin.
But we are not Jesus. We are neither God, nor perfect. We do sin. Even when we try hard not to. At some point, we will fall.
He will rebuke our sin. (Revelation 3:19)
Just as we are put down, we also put others down due to our selfish sins.
Greed, adultery, lust, gluttony, cheaters, murder, neglect, disobedient, anxiety, fearful, resentment, slander, defilers, pride, slothfulness, drunkenness, hatred, lying, wrath, envy, stealing, unmerciful, etc…
There are just so many, and it is so easy to sin.
No one has to teach us how to do it or how to get better at it. It’s kind of in our DNA. We were born with it. And Satan loves to encourage sin. Make us feel as if it was great and we are on top of the world, until God’s justice comes crashing down on us.
Our sin can come out of nowhere and cause terrible damage.
This is why it is so important to have constant fellowship with God and have our relationship with Him be our priority.
We could have recognized and repented of those sins before we acted on them and then hurt/were hurt by someone else.
But for whatever excuse or reason we give, we didn’t. Either because we were willfully sinning. Because we didn’t see it. Because God didn’t reveal it. Or because we weren’t talking or listening to Him.
And He will hold us accountable for it and direct our hearts to change.
He Directs Our Hearts
Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory.
Psalm 73:24
If we have done this process: turning to God, reading His word, and praying with all our souls, we will get what we desire. The truth, conviction to repent of wrongdoing, encouragement in the right we did, and an unexplainable peace to the depths of our being from having a relationship with God.
God will answer our prayers. He will make known the words we need to hear in His Word and we will finally be whole through healing.
He directed our hearts out of the clouded mess that we were in and brought us back to the sunshine and warmth of His glory.
We were not left in a drought-filled nation but, were instead, given His everlasting water that will strengthen us. (Isaiah 58:11)
We are out of the danger zone and into the calm. And in this calm, He directs our hearts to do three things: rest, restore, and rejoice.
He Gives Rest (Matthew 11:28)
After such an ordeal, when we turn to God we are super close to Him relationally. We have the most peace than ever before. We are walking with Him, talking to Him, and learning from Him.
We are in a place where the world cannot touch us. A place that God controls and thus controls our emotions, thoughts, and fears.
He gives us peace which causes us to, for possibly the first time in our lives, feel rest.
Our anxiety is gone because He soothed the terror in our souls. God might have led us to reconcile with the person we fought with, which would lead to peace, or let them go, which would also bring peace.
He has created something new in our hearts which is making us better and stronger. Our faith in Him is causing us to become a whole new person.
We have felt the sharpness of the storm and now we are feeling the calm when all is over.
We have weathered through the trials and temptations and we are sitting in the stillness of His presence. This rest is a reward for our faithfulness to our faith and God.
If we don’t do it, the rest and peace will never come. The strugglers will be the people searching for something to drown out the pain they are still living in.
But not those who have come to God, they will have rest.
And what has been broken will be fixed, what has been hurt will be mended. We will be whole again.
We will be restored.
Come, and let us return unto the Lord: for he hath torn, and he will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up.
After two days will he revive us: in the third day he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight.
Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord: his going forth is prepared as the morning; and he shall come unto us as the rain, as the latter and former rain unto the earth.
Hosea 6:1-3
He Restores
In the Bible, there was a man named Job. He had many horrible and sad things happen to him all of a sudden and what seemed like to him, for no reason.
He was given bad advice, looked down upon, and gossiped about. He did not understand what was going on behind the scenes. He only felt that moment. But through it all, he turned to God and listened with a willing heart. God rebuked and comforted Job.
Job realized the mistakes in his thinking and went on to praise God in his infirmities. He had every right to hold anger and bitterness against his friends and wife, those who hurt him deeply at his weakest point, but he didn’t.
And although God can do whatever He wants, He gave Job a choice. Pray for me to forgive your friends, or I will destroy them. God took their bad counseling and falsities very seriously. And He was willing to set them as an example before all of Israel.
But Job did the right thing. The good thing. The godly thing. He prayed for them that the Lord would forgive them and not harm them.
And the moment Job prayed for them was the moment his bad fortune changed. God restored Job to his former glory but also gave him twice as much as he had before. Job was insanely rich, had a large family again, and had high prestige in Israel.
God blessed him for his change of heart and desire to do right. But God blessed him even more for not needing vengeance for his pain.
Rejoice In His Counsel
I will bless the Lord, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.
Psalm 16:7
As I said in the beginning, there are many avenues we can take to receive counsel, but all of them will fall short compared to God.
Secular counselors will never lead us to God, the greatest comfort and guidance we can ever have, nor will you find true relief in their advice.
Christian counselors might not see each problem needing to be addressed and only help heal part of your story. Or even give you incorrect advice.
Every person you meet and talk to is imperfect, and can never heal you by themselves.
But if they are led by God and are listening to His voice, then He can use them to speak to you. But that would still not be their wisdom. You would be hearing God’s voice spoken through their mouth. Which in turn is still God counseling you.
It is God telling you the words you need to hear. God is being your counselor.
If you are broken and you don’t know how to be whole again, please. Read my blog post, We are all broken. You are not alone and we can get through this together through our faith in Jesus Christ.
As you continue through the journey of your Christian faith, the greatest thing you can do is gain wisdom. Reading your Bible and praying to God will help not only correct your life but allow God to use you to be His voice to another.
We need humility, reverence, and love. We need to want to help others, not be always right or morally superior.
We need God, Jesus, and His Holy Spirit. We need faith.
I will bless the Lord, who giveth me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.
Psalm 16:7
